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11/21/2018 0 Comments

Pregnant Holidays - tips and suggestions

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Pregnant holidays can present some joys and some challenges. Allison of Divine Doula Services, Emma of (Em)powered by Birth Doula Services, and Johanna of Nested Mama Prenatal & Postpartum Doula Support collaborated to share their best tips and suggestions for making your way through a holiday season full of expectations!
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Magical and exhausting- two things the first trimester of pregnancy and the holidays have in common! And as an expecting momma it is so important to both enjoy the magic and wonder but also to give yourself grace and time to rest and take care of yourself and baby. It is no secret that the first trimester is rather notorious for bringing on some pretty intense symptoms.

If you are in your first trimester during the holidays and experiencing some of these more intense symptoms- remind yourself that there will be other holidays. Actually, next year, you will be celebrating your baby's first holidays! So for this year, allow yourself to change your expectations and let others take care of some of the extra food preparation and shopping. I found having a routine in the first trimester (and through all of pregnancy) helped so much - consistent meals and frequent snacks, extra hydration, and good sleep hygiene all made my pregnancy more comfortable. So with the hustle and bustle of the holidays, enjoy your time with friends and family but also know the only expectation of you is to care for yourself and baby!

​Many families also spend their first trimester keeping their pregnancies on the DL. A few things with this - there is absolutely no rule or proper etiquette when it comes to announcing a pregnancy besides announcing at the time that is best for you and your partner! You can't announce too early or too late. If you want to announce in the early weeks of pregnancy because it is the holiday season and you have family around to celebrate with you and also support you during this time - then announce and celebrate! (As I am writing this, I just looked up holiday pregnancy announcements and they are just the cutest.) If you and your partner choose to keep your news to yourselves, set up a plan prior to going to any sorts of gatherings to be sure you will be able to get the space and time you need to keep yourself healthy and happy.

This holiday will be unlike any other! Enjoy the beauty of the season, the company of so many loved ones, and the excitement that your little "poppyseed" will be a sweet baby to snuggle by the tree at this time next year!
The second trimester is the most beautiful time of pregnancy according to most moms. You are coming out of the "morning sickness" state (let's be honest- whoever named it "morning" sickness needs a reality check) you're finally getting a noticeable bump AND the most miraculous thing happens. You can feel your baby kick! Starting as tiny flutters and making their way to full blown elbow jabs.

With Thanksgiving and Christmas happening right in my second trimester, I couldn't have been more excited. I was finally able to eat food again. And I wasn't to the uncomfortably huge, cant-fit-any-food-in-my-belly stage, so I could eat and enjoy it. So let's talk about foods you can enjoy at Thanksgiving and Christmas while in your second trimester!
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Eat as much as you would like:
  • Fully cooked meat (turkey, ham, chicken etc)
  • Fruits and Veggies
  • Stuffing
  • Relish trays (pickles, olives etc)
  • P.I.E (apple, pumpkin, you name it)
  • Mashed potatoes
  • Gravy: all the gravy!
With this, just be smart. If you question if you can have any food item, it's best to avoid it until you get further clarification from your medical provider. 

Hold off (until next year):
  • Stuffing cooked INSIDE the turkey. One reason: Salmonella.
  • Soft cheeses: Listeria, no go, sorry mama!
  • Hollandaise sauce: Reasoning? Egg yolks are usually not fully cooked and could contain Salmonella.
  • Smoked Salmon: Again, Listeria.
  • Cider: It is typically unpasteurized and can harbor E. Coli
  • Alcohol: There is no known safe amount during pregnancy, so toast with sparkling fruit juice instead.
  • Eggnog: If it contains alcohol or raw eggs, you need to skip. The pasteurized, nonalcoholic eggnog found in your grocery dairy aisle is considered safe.
Germs seem to make their ways around family get-togethers, too, with many family members all in one tight house sharing food. It can be difficult being pregnant and getting sick. Things like the common cold are hard because there are some OTC medications that you are not allowed to take while pregnant or until your third trimester. Your OB or midwife will give you a an info sheet with all the medications safe for you to take during each stage of pregnancy for varying issues (if they haven't, call them before taking any medication). More serious illnesses like the flu should be brought up to your doctor right away so they can monitor you and baby and watch for signs of dehydration among other things.
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Third trimester - you are almost there, hooray!

If you are still going full steam and want to do all the things, that's great.  But, sometimes pregnant bodies start sending out the message that they need something other than all the things - REST. If your body is sending you that message, heed it and know that there will be so many magical holidays ahead.  For now, going to bed early as well as prioritizing the few obligations that bring you joy and not stress is a perfectly fantastic approach.

In the same vein, prioritizing self-care (which could be rest, a massage, good food, prenatal yoga, chiropractic care, things that bring you joy) is another excellent goal for this last holiday before little one arrives. Pregnancy can bring with it aches and pains, so anything that makes you feel good in your growing and stretching body should be at the top of your to-do list.
As your pregnancy becomes increasingly visible, you may find friends, family, or random people while you are out running errands making comments about your size.  First of all, anyone who says anything to you other than that you are beautiful and glowing needs etiquette lessons. Secondly, know that your body is doing exactly what it needs to grow that sweet little babe, and anyone who assumes that you are "having twins" or "ready to pop" or declares with astonishment that "you should have had that baby already" has no obstetric knowledge and no conversational skill, either.

If you find that people are reaching out to touch your growing belly without your consent, feel empowered to say no - this is your body and no one should touch you without your permission. The work of establishing your little family will certainly come with moments where you have to emphasize boundaries and advocate for yourself. This is the perfect, if totally annoying, chance to practice.  Know that you are strong, and you've got this. And, baby will be here soon!
Feeling all ready for baby? Check out all the services offered by Doulas of Iowa City and see how we can support you before, during, and after birth.

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Emma lives in North Liberty, Iowa with her one year old daughter, husband, and two pups. She is a Montessori program coordinator at La Montessori Nurtury and a birth and postpartum doula with (Em)powered by Birth Doula Services.
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Allison Carfizzi is a trained prenatal and postpartum doula with Divine Doula Services. She has a history in working in healthcare and offering compassion to her clients. She is a mother of four under 6 and loves spending her time researching and learning anything new pertaining to conceiving, pregnancy, labor, delivery and postpartum. She will offer non-judgmental support to any family, from all walks of life, through pregnancy, labor & delivery and beyond.
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​​Johanna Tomlinson is a mother to three little ones and a doula, childbirth educator, and sleep educator with Nested Mama Prenatal & Postpartum Doula Support. Read more of Johanna’s writing on pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and parenting here.
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11/14/2018 0 Comments

Starting Traditions - tips for baby's first holiday season

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There is something truly magical about baby's first holiday season. Seen through the eyes of our children, the lights on the tree take on a whole new kind of wonder.

But, if you are like me, the stress of the holiday season (especially when weathering the witching hours, teething, or developmental leaps with baby) can take its toll.

Here are a few tips for starting traditions that will nourish your family for seasons to come!

Keep it Simple
Often the gift-giving aspect of the holiday season can be a source of joy and stress. Baby's first holiday season is the perfect time to embrace simplicity that will allow you to focus on being together. For example, a three-gift approach - something you want, something you need, and something to read - or a four-gift approach - something you want, something you need, something to grow on, and something to read - offer concise, catchy frameworks for gift-giving for the family

This may also be the perfect time to shake up family traditions. If gift-giving with extended family now includes lots of nieces and nephews, moving to a gift exchange where family members draw names instead of purchasing a gift for every person can make those gatherings less about stuff and more about enjoying time together. 

Start Small
What was your favorite holiday memory from childhood? Seeing the Nutcracker Ballet? Riding the Polar express? Singing carols door to door?

Whatever tradition speaks most to you, if the thought of enjoying it with babe in arms or carrier sounds appealing - go for it. 

But know, too, that traditions will grow, change, and deepen as your family does. Maybe between the middle of the night wake-ups and the pumping at work and the holiday obligations, adding one more thing sounds like the opposite of holiday joy.

So, pick something small, something meaningful, and something you can circle back to each year. Maybe it is hot cocoa by the tree. Maybe it is a winter walk to see the lights. Maybe it is hitting your favorite trail as a family. Whatever it is, make time for it, and forget all the pressure to do ALL the things.

​Your baby isn't holding a checklist - he or she just wants to be close to you and wrapped in your love. It's truly that small and that big.
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Enlist Outside Help
Food traditions are some of the most fun but intensive parts of the holiday season if you've got a little one in arms. If you feel compelled to prepare a holiday meal, enlist the assistance of a friend or family member to help you juggle baby and food prep. Here, babywearing can be a big help, too!

You can also make decisions now to prioritize low-stress choices - ordering a holiday meal from a local vendor can give you the traditional items you crave, ready to heat and serve.

Another option is to reinvent your traditional meal using your crockpot or pressure cooker. You can also turn meals into a potluck, providing drink and desert while your guests bring the more intensive to prepare items on the menu.
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Establish Boundaries
Starting your own family often comes with the task of setting boundaries with your family and friends - and holidays tend to be more the rule than the exception when it comes to this particular work of family making.

Do you know that playing "pass the baby" stresses out both baby and you? Does baby nurse best nestled in the carrier and then stay there for a snooze? Do you need to have baby swaddled and shushed before 6 p.m. or things go sideways, making the 7 p.m. holiday dinner too tricky?

You know your baby. You know yourself and your partner. Trust your instincts for what works for you and establish boundaries that help your little family flourish.

Offer options and compromise when you can - so you can't make that 7 p.m. dinner, but, wow, baby is SO happy in the morning. What about suggesting everyone meet for brunch the following morning so they can get their fill of your beautiful baby at a good time? Be collaborative, be creative, and know that one holiday season soon your now-babe-ever-so-soon-kiddo will be able to stay up and munch on cookies and drink cocoa way past bedtime - but it is okay that this holiday isn't that time. Yet.

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Carve out Space for Rest
Meeting the needs of a new baby in the first year of life is wonderful and exhausting. As you set plans for the holiday season, make sure there is ample time for rest, especially if your plans include travel.

And, if those around  you start asking if your baby is sleeping through the night yet, feel free to say baby is sleeping like a baby, hand baby off to a trusted partner or relative, and head on back to bed. Babies need us day and night - that's good and healthy, too. But, if you've got the support system around you, don't hesitate to give them some one-on-one time with babe while you catch a few extra winks.
Find the Magic
If nothing else let this be your guiding principle - do the things that give you all joy and forget the rest. And truly, holding your little miracle in your arms in the glow of the lights is a magical tradition that you can enjoy for years to come.

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​​​Johanna Tomlinson is a mother to three little ones and a doula, childbirth educator, and sleep educator with Nested Mama Prenatal & Postpartum Doula Support. Read more of Johanna’s writing on pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and parenting here.
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    The Doulas of Iowa City blog contains guest posts by Doulas of Iowa City member businesses. We are excited to share with you about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum in Iowa City, Cedar Rapids, and surrounding communities and to help you connect to fabulous local resources.

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