Why I Hired a Doula - Emily's story

Confession time...I didn’t want to hire a doula.

And I didn’t - not for my first two births at least.  

I couldn’t understand why I would want a stranger in my hospital room seeing me in pain.  It seemed too vulnerable to me, and frankly, I could not see the benefit.

Fast forward a few years, and we were expecting our third child.  At the time I had been working as a doula for a year, and I was much more informed about childbirth as well as the role and the benefits of having a doula.  

But to be honest, I still didn’t want one.

Luckily, the organization that I used for my doula certification trained me extensively in using a reflective process to look at situations.  I was able to dig deep into my resistant feelings of hiring a doula, and I finally realized that it was my pride that made me reluctant. I didn’t want to give up the idea that I could do everything on my own and that asking for help would make me seem weak.  

Thankfully, I was able to look back at my first two births and realize that during those births, I could have really benefited from some help. I swallowed my pride, and I hired a doula.
 
I am so glad that I did!

Every birth is different and hiring a doula does not guarantee any certain birth outcome. However, I have had the experience of birthing with and without a doula, and I can identify at least 3 differences in my birth experience with a doula attending.

• I was confident in my choices.  

I was empowered to make a birth plan and discuss it with my healthcare provider.  Going through my options with my doula helped me gain the confidence I needed to make my desires known.  It helped me become a much better advocate for myself.

• I was physically supported

Having a person with me that understood the birth process and what was going on in my body made a huge difference in how I worked through the pain of childbirth.  Having the right amount of pressure on my hips was a game-changer. Being physically supported in a position so that I could relax my muscles helped me work with the contraction instead of fighting against it.  In fact, just having my doula suggest position changes was a large difference from my first birth where I remember being afraid to leave the bed to use the restroom without the “permission” of my nurse first.

• I felt heard

My doula was able to focus on me during my birth. She was unconditionally there to meet my needs.  I found that since I didn’t feel any judgement on what I wanted, I was able to express myself more freely.  I didn’t have to hold anything back. Specifically, I remember she was there to listen to me express my doubts and complaints near the end of my labor when I reached the “I can’t do this anymore!” phase.  Her whispered acknowledgements of what I was feeling gave me the encouragement I needed to keep going. It didn’t make the contractions less painful, but being heard and understood helped me from feeling overwhelmed.  

I am glad that I hired a doula for the birth of my third daughter.  And a few years later when we were expecting our fourth daughter, I made sure to call my doula early on in my pregnancy.  I finally, personally, knew the benefits to having a doula on my birth team.

Looking to add a doula to your support team? Join us at our next Meet the Doulas of Iowa City event or reach out to any of our member doulas for a consultation.

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Emily Piette lives in rural Washington County with her husband, four daughters and a variety of animals.  She is a birth doula and childbirth educator for her co-owned business, Iowa City Birth Services. In her free time, Emily enjoys working on projects around her old farmhouse, gardening and reading. ​